My husband is one of those men who would have had children if I’d wanted to have them.
Phoena G, a woman I know strictly through the internet and who runs the childfree website Happily Childfree, is quoted in No Children, No Guilt as saying, “The reaction I hate the most is when people ask me, ‘How does your husband feel about you not having children?”’ She was insulted by the implication that she required her husband’s approval to remain childfree, or that she was somehow cheating her husband out of his “rightful children.”
I can only assume that some men whose partners forgo children for similar reasons are met with the same “But…! How could you do that to her?”
No one has said anything like the above to me personally, but since becoming part of the online childfree community, I’ve come across people who have wondered how it works when one person in the relationship doesn’t want kids, but the other is “eh…maybe, maybe not.”
Because I think I’d be curious, too, if I were on the outside of such a decision, I wanted to offer at least one point of view as an answer.
Who better to interview than my husband? After all, he was in the “eh…maybe, maybe not” camp before he had his vasectomy.
If you’re thinking, “Whatever. He probably just tried to make you not feel guilty for amputating his blood line,” don’t worry. He didn’t. The only reason I interviewed him at all was because I knew he would have absolutely no qualms about being completely honest with me.
You’ll find my questions and his answers at DINKlife.com.