Sex and Money – Like Milk and Apple Pie (Win $25 gift card)

The following is a guest post by a seriously funny blogger who wants to give you $25.

_______

Hi. I’m TMarie of UnfunnyMe.com.

Sylvia was kind enough to invite me to write this post for her blog – but I’m not sure what to say because we have very different lives.

Sylvia sometimes writes about living “child-free.”

I don’t know anything about being child-free.  Most days I get sick of the annoying brats running around my house and wish their parents would hurry up and come get them. Then I remember they’re mine.

Sylvia writes about women and what they really want. I have no idea what I want, and I’m a woman. So I read What Every Modern Woman Wishes Men Knew About Women – which I often imagined Sylvia writing with her tongue firmly in her cheek – and  I wondered if her husband is really smokin’ hot. She doesn’t say in the book whether he is (or isn’t), but some things you can just tell.

I also wondered a bunch of other stuff that only a humor-sex-advice columnist would want to talk about, but I had no one to talk about it with. So I launched a humor-sex-advice column, and Sylvia agreed to answer a few questions that I know you’ve all been wondering about, too.

Sex-erview with author Sylvia D.

TMarie: Sylvia, of the following  – which group do you think has the most sex?

A) The child-free
B) The poor schleps who have to use a pillow as a moan-muffler to keep from waking up the kids

Sylvia: A. But the B sex sounds kinky.

TMarie: I’ve read on your blog that the child-free are often quickly and harshly judged by  – what do you call those people who think diddling should only be for the purpose of making babies?

Sylvia: Rick Santorums?

TMarie: Yeah them… Do you think they’re just jealous because the child free are having worry-free-spontaneous-gratuitious-all-for-pleasure-me-me-me-nookie?

Sylvia: Well, often, there’s another person there, too, so it’s not ALL me-me-me. Unfortunately.

TMarie:
Cool.  Now say this five times real fast: worry-free-spontaneous-gratuitious-all-for-pleasure-me-me-me-nookie.

Was that fun?

Sylvia: It was okay. “Me-me-me-nookie” was the best part. It sounds like a foreign language if you say it enough times.

TMarie:
I bet it wasn’t NEARLY as fun as actually having it.

Sylvia: I think I’m going to start saying it during sex.

TMarie: Okay, back to the sex.  What do you think is the most common sex complaint or problem among modern women?

Sylvia: A woman who commented on City Girl blogs by way of entry into a contest to win a free copy of WEWWM…(etc.) might have the best answer to this. She wrote:

We don’t always want an orgasm. Sometimes, we just want you to hurry up and have yours so we can get on to the next thing.

TMarie: Do you think women (or men) have questions they’d like to ask me in a humorous sex advice column?

Sylvia: I think people have a lot of real questions about sex that are accidentally funny, so yes. Sex is a funny subject (as I think it should be – it’s too fun to be all serious, and sometimes the very real seriousness of it can use your unique brand of levity if it isn’t already uncomfortably funny on its own).

TMarie: What if I threw in a little incentive  –  a prize for a randomly selected question?

Sylvia: I think that’s a mighty fine incentive. I would enter if it wouldn’t be unethical.

TMarie: Stay out of it. To the rest – here ya go: http://unfunnyme.com/2012/01/27/enter-to-win/

But one more question: Is your husband really smokin’ hot?

Sylvia: Absolutely.

DEADLINE FOR CONTEST: Thursday, Feb. 2, 10am EST.

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