Hot (enough to beat you) or Not?

The Grammys was a great night for titillating Twitter feed. Young women of America spoke up in support of what is apparently the latest social message:  “Domestic abuse is hot – as long as you are!!”

The feed was captured by

I found this link on Facebook when it was shared by a friend of mine, who, shockingly, was shocked by the young women’s cavalier attitude toward abuse. Another Facebook friend of mine wrote, “We should have a ‘Hot or Not’ decide if someone is too cute to be responsible for their behavior from now on.”

I mean – ya! Why have we never done this before? How better to determine whether abuse is tolerable – hell, even invited! – than to analyze abuser-worthiness based on the physical appearance (financial wealth helps, too) of the abuser?

Below are some pictures of people who have been convicted of (or who have pleaded “no contest” to) domestic abuse. Hot enough to be hit by? Well, let’s see:

First, the man who gave Rihanna that pretty purple welt on her face and got the young ladies of Twitter all worked up just fantasizing about his fist smashing into their cheekbones. Gosh, he’s good looking. It would be a little harder to see his face through a black eye, but you’d hold onto his looks in your memory until you healed and got to see him again. Hot enough to be hit by? I think we all know the answer to that.




First of all, this guy isn’t famous. Second of all, he looks kind of sleepy and mean. I’m afraid I would get bored while he pummeled my face, so this is a definite “not hot enough to beat me” man. Sorry, Frank! I do believe the brilliant and self-assured women of the Twitterverse who think domestic violence is sexy won’t find you a sexy enough abuser to sing your praises online. Thumbs down!



1. He’s a movie producer (hot!).
2. He has the last name Belafonte, which is cool, because it makes you think of Harry Belafonte, who is a true humanitarian. So, he’s sort of “kind by association” in a very, very loose kind of way. 
3. Also, he’s wearing a nice jacket that blood will just slide ride off when it gushes from my nose, so I would say he’s definitely hot enough to smack me around a little bit.





First, she’s a chick, so she can pretty much get away with beating anyone she wants to, right? (<–I discuss this kind of thing in What Every Woman Wishes Modern Men Knew About Women.) Everyone knows only women are abused. So I don’t know if she counts enough as an actual abuser to be considered “hot.” Second, I’m also a chick, and I’m straight, so I’m not really into having myself beat up by another chick. But, she is somewhat attractive, and she’s been on TV for being a young pregnant person, so she’s kind of “famous,” which as we all know automatically increases a regular person’s hot factor by about 1,201. I don’t know – maybe we’d have to ask the guy who’s been taking her shit if he’s all, “You can beat me any time!!” when he sees her coming at him.

I’m sure there are many more abusers to choose from, but I think this is an adequate beginner list. Now let’s look at how hot the abuse itself is:



Hey, Twitter girlies? I’d like to cut you some slack because you’re just teenagers (if you aren’t, you’re acting like them), but you’re old enough to be in relationships now, and probably have been for a few years. You’re also old enough to know two things: 1. Abuse is never hot, and 2. It’s not a joke, no matter how “cute,” rich, or famous the person doing the beating is.

In case you’re tempted to shrug and “Whatever” this, here are some really sexy domestic violence stats gathered from the Domestic Abuse Shelter of the Florida Keys:

Against women:

  • Battering is the single major cause of injury to women, exceeding rapes, muggings and auto accidents combined.
  • A woman is more likely to be killed by a male partner (or former partner) than any other person.
  • About 4,000 women die each year due to domestic violence.
  • Of the total domestic violence homicides, about 75% of the victims were killed as they attempted to leave the relationship or after the relationship had ended.

Against men:

  • Between 100,000 and 6 million men are victims of domestic violence each year.
  • Intimate partners committed 3% of all violent crime against men.

You may never personally be punched in the face, slammed up against a wall so hard that you can’t breathe, kicked in the kidneys,  thrown into the corner of a dining room table, or threatened with death, but I’d hate to think that’s what it would take for you to understand the gravity of domestic violence.

Stop being idiots. No one is good looking enough, rich enough, or famous enough to beat you “all night.”

Happy Valentine’s Day,

– Sylvia



5 thoughts on “Hot (enough to beat you) or Not?

  1. SisterZip

    Maybe this has to do with not getting a spanking as a child. They don’t know what pain of that nature is. I get that some of those girls probably were being flip and joking about the actual beating, but get a grip girls. These guys don’t usually change.

    1. Yeah, I didn’t get the sense that they were actually inviting abuse, but that his actual abuse was little more than a joke was certainly telling of something. Maybe there are just certain things you don’t recognize at certain ages, that it takes a little more life education to grasp.

  2. Jay

    Thank you Sylvia.

    As a guy it boils my blood that I’m constantly reminded by society that I’m a potential rapist and domestic abuser for simply existing as a man yet a rich, famous, attractive man who was actually convicted of a felony domestic abuse is not only forgiven, but continually worshiped by hordes of adoring female fans begging to be next in line to be abused.

    I’m mature enough to discern that domestic abuse from both sides is wrong and being “hot” does not give you a free pass to inflict physical harm on someone.

    As demonstrated once again by our ridiculously shallow culture, man or woman, as long as you have fame, looks, and lots of money, you’re essentially exempt from all societal rules.

    Rules are for little people.

  3. That article I read from BuzzFeed was one of the most disturbing things I’ve ever read. I’ve never felt so upset before over Twitter. It’s good to know someone else is speaking out in outrage as well. If you look up those women now, most of them have deleted their accounts. Women are so ridiculous sometimes. What sort of demented person thinks that is hilarious? One thing I know for certain, none of those women have been physically abused by a man/parent/etc.

    I wrote a blog about it too:


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